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A reminder for whoever may need this 🌟 you’ve got this ❤️ … on my commute to the office today, taking the “slow” train to ease into the City: enjoy the journey not the destination kind of day 😂👀
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Spontaneous lunch break fun! Got the bus to my favourite local town and had a cheeky pepperoni+honey pizza for lunch 😋 “one fun thing a day” continues 5 years later 🥳 .. also got soaked in the rain 🌧
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Has anyone watched “Old Enough” on Netflix 📺 ? Any thoughts? I am finding the short clips engaging, hilarious, cute, adorable, and I love the Japanese culture and way of being. They are so polite. I’ve also had some thoughts of feeling sorry for the children and wondering if when they grow up they will be traumatised by some of the errands experiences they’ve had if they found it daunting 🤔 but overall 9/10 from me 🥰 I am not a parent but it’s been interesting tapping into my own thoughts on when/if I have children if I’d put them up for similiar type challenges!
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Bus rides - journeys over destinations? 📝🚌
My love of “the journey” and not the destination is a real reality for me. I am a fully formed adult, passed my driving test over 12 years ago and I still do not have a car. Many friends and family ask me why, I stare at them blankly usually wondering why they need one - especially for those who venture into the city for work. Don’t get me wrong i understand the practicality of being able to quickly drive around to run errands, especially in a rush or with a young family. But I love enjoying the journey of being in the passenger seat. No responsibility of where we are going, no worry or care for how we get there. My only role - is to enjoy the journey. To absorb the pleasantries of the beautiful day, the weather, the breeze hitting my face while the window is open, with my music in my ears, sometimes imagining my whole life going by as we move, the scenery and sights we go past, funny people usually children learning to walk along the street, cute families going for their morning walk, a couple holding hands, or sometimes a couple arguing - not so fun to watch but a reminder of the realities of the real world, in more dramatic moments - a fight on the bus or in the street. I love journeys. I love the freedom of them. I love being an observer. I love being able to hop on or off a bus or train and change my destination spontaneously without the responsibility of the ride. Saying all this I am now planning to buy a car at some point in the next 12 months (don’t get me started on inflation!). Do I think my life would be more efficient with a car? Yes. Am I lazy? No. I just enjoy the hassle free ride. From an independent freedom chasing villager who loves to take the support of a bus or train journey 📖
Image: my favourite bus ride going past a local park, on a sunny day and a cloudy blue-ish sky
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Crying - it has purpose 📝
My friend and I went for a cosy pub pie dinner on Friday night. Truth be told - we both had a horrendously busy week at work (and non work!) and we were probably not in the right mindset to meet. But we missed each other so much and were looking forward to it all week, so we committed to our support for each other. Unspoken - we knew we needed it. I journeyed into the City from my town - while on the train, I saw a lady opposite crying , not balling her eyes out crying - but just slow, soft tears flowing down her pale face. She looked innocent and vulnerable. She noticed me, and we caught eyes. I tried to look away to not invade her private moment. But in my mind I knew I needed to do something. I had been in this position before myself. I scrummaged my bag for tissues, none to be found. We caught eyes again, I felt myself stop myself from speaking. I turned to get off at my stop, she followed me behind. I turned around and after finally finding my voice and hands - pat her on the shoulder and said “are you ok?” (Obviously she was not), she replied “erm I’ll be ok, so embarrassing I cried on the train”, I quickly without hesitation speak almost over her “it’s ok to cry, let it all out!!, we all need to let it out, you’re never going to see these people again !! you’re never going to see me again”. She bursts out laughing while tears are still visible at the same time. She smiles and I give her a nod. We waive bye as we part ways 👋 . On meeting my friend we discuss crying and how we’re sensitive and there is a place for crying as an adult. I tell her I don’t think we would be able to cry if it doesn’t have a purpose, then we tangent onto why the pancreas is useless and maybe some things don’t have purpose. But in my heart i know crying is for a reason. She quickly tells me that the purpose of crying as a baby is to seek the support of a mother to ask for food or care. That babies who cannot communicate what they are feeling - cry. We both agree that crying has its purpose and that as adults we need to cry, sometimes things can’t be communicated, but we need to let them out. We laugh and agree that we like to cry and we feel good afterwards. 😆📖
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Self care - is my body telling me to rest? 📝
I consider myself a very active person - dancing in a Zumba class or just at home when I wake up and singing to say good morning to my parents (yes I sometimes live in a fantasy Disney world lol), a long bike ride along the river, going for a walk in nature or be it exploring a new local town or park. I like to be present in these moments of activity - to me - these are my mindful moments, where I am truly present. However, recently I’ve injured my foot (worry not I’m seeing a physio next week!). I’ve dealt with injury before, but this time feels different. Better. Instead of fighting the injury and continuing as though everything’s fine; I am leaning into my body and taking the rest and recovery (rice) needed to heal. It felt unnatural at first - having to adjust physical activity plans to more sedentary ones. But I’ve learnt something magical through the process - while I’ve used activity as a tool for mindful meditation in being present - I can also lean on sedentary methods (which I’ve always found more difficult). The last few weeks I’ve been going for a massage and I’ve also been reading more. The massage has taught me so much about my relationship with my body - it usually starts with me very tense, I actually feel all my muscles are tight and I am physically tensed up. I can sense the Thai lady’s hands trying to force my muscles to relax - it’s like she is speaking to me through her hands. My mind is usually racing with many thoughts (anxiety) - how will it be today? Does she know what pressure to apply? Is the room too hot or too cold? Then once that’s over - without a pause - I start thinking about the week, what went well and could’ve gone better, I start scenario planning or replaying moments of the week in my mind; this quickly paces to the future thoughts of what’s next for me in life? where do I want to be ? Why am I not there yet? Or where I am further than I thought I’d ever be and how proud I am, the anxiety sometimes turns to euphoria and self confidence for the future…. these thoughts rush quickly in what feels like a few minutes. I let them flow, and then finally - for the last few sessions- I’ve been able to engage with the feeling of the massage - and that has brought my mind, my body and my soul into the present and to truly relax. I spend the rest of the session with my Spotify “sleep” playlist in my ears, tuning into the sounds of the music which is mainly calming, usually few words and more instruments. I feel the Thai massage lady’s hands engage with my muscles - some are tighter than others, I imagine that the tighter ones are blocked and as she runs her hands with some force through these I imagine that these are blockages running through the river of my blood, that are now being slowly squashed and fragmented into tiny fractions and allowed to flow and pass out of my body and disappear into the atmosphere. I am no longer holding onto these blockages. They are removed. My muscles feel relaxed, almost like I’m a floppy cheese string once it’s been pulled away from the centre. There is a sense of relief, there is some pain with the massage but I welcome it as I know it will remove these blockages and allow my body to reset and recenter. I am learning how to rest, I am practicing self care outside of a physical activity. I am feeding my body with the rest it needs to recharge and reset. I feel alive. I welcome this injury into my life with arms open - it has taught me how to embrace an otherwise frustrating chapter (injury).
Yesterday I decided to visit a book shop and go with the flow on whatever my mind and body decided I needed. I bought 3 new books (one is actually a journal) when I got home I realised they’re all related to self care and part of my journey to loving my body inside and out - mind, body and soul. PS do you like my llama socks? He’s taking me on this wild self-care ride 😝📖🧘♀️
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Spontaneous weekend - dinner + movie night for one please 🙋🏻♀️ watched “The Worst Person in the World” in cinema late last night. I have to say my rule to “not google” something before forming my own opinion first is always keeping my life fun and full of brain adventure. Did not know the whole movie was in Norwegian lol. I found the dry witty depiction of millenial angst on career/relationships/having kids hilarious yet relatable. My favourite “I am 30, comparing myself to bambi on ice”. Favourite sketch - when life around is still, “bernards watch” kind of vibes had me reminiscing my own life and youth. Anyone else seen it? 🍿 recommend
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Beginnings - a new village
Excited to join the micro.blog village! Some friends and I created a metaphor to support us in our moments of doubt or greyness: “Rainbow shield”. The idea is that using a rainbow coloured shield fights off any bad vibes 🌈🛡It reminds each of us that we can shield ourselves with colourful energy always; that we can lean on support in the form of each other as a community (our shield); that while each colour in the rainbow is unique and independent, they come together to make a beautiful rainbow (after some rain of course!) and inevitability we are never alone (although we may sometimes feel so). As I start this new voyage of potential writing/blogging, I am looking forward to embracing the community energy here. Hey world - I’m out here finally writing on a public platform with my @rainbowshieldworld alias 🙋🏻♀️ It’s begun 📝
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