I consider myself a very active person - dancing in a Zumba class or just at home when I wake up and singing to say good morning to my parents (yes I sometimes live in a fantasy Disney world lol), a long bike ride along the river, going for a walk in nature or be it exploring a new local town or park. I like to be present in these moments of activity - to me - these are my mindful moments, where I am truly present. However, recently I’ve injured my foot (worry not I’m seeing a physio next week!). I’ve dealt with injury before, but this time feels different. Better. Instead of fighting the injury and continuing as though everything’s fine; I am leaning into my body and taking the rest and recovery (rice) needed to heal. It felt unnatural at first - having to adjust physical activity plans to more sedentary ones. But I’ve learnt something magical through the process - while I’ve used activity as a tool for mindful meditation in being present - I can also lean on sedentary methods (which I’ve always found more difficult). The last few weeks I’ve been going for a massage and I’ve also been reading more. The massage has taught me so much about my relationship with my body - it usually starts with me very tense, I actually feel all my muscles are tight and I am physically tensed up. I can sense the Thai lady’s hands trying to force my muscles to relax - it’s like she is speaking to me through her hands. My mind is usually racing with many thoughts (anxiety) - how will it be today? Does she know what pressure to apply? Is the room too hot or too cold? Then once that’s over - without a pause - I start thinking about the week, what went well and could’ve gone better, I start scenario planning or replaying moments of the week in my mind; this quickly paces to the future thoughts of what’s next for me in life? where do I want to be ? Why am I not there yet? Or where I am further than I thought I’d ever be and how proud I am, the anxiety sometimes turns to euphoria and self confidence for the future…. these thoughts rush quickly in what feels like a few minutes. I let them flow, and then finally - for the last few sessions- I’ve been able to engage with the feeling of the massage - and that has brought my mind, my body and my soul into the present and to truly relax. I spend the rest of the session with my Spotify “sleep” playlist in my ears, tuning into the sounds of the music which is mainly calming, usually few words and more instruments. I feel the Thai massage lady’s hands engage with my muscles - some are tighter than others, I imagine that the tighter ones are blocked and as she runs her hands with some force through these I imagine that these are blockages running through the river of my blood, that are now being slowly squashed and fragmented into tiny fractions and allowed to flow and pass out of my body and disappear into the atmosphere. I am no longer holding onto these blockages. They are removed. My muscles feel relaxed, almost like I’m a floppy cheese string once it’s been pulled away from the centre. There is a sense of relief, there is some pain with the massage but I welcome it as I know it will remove these blockages and allow my body to reset and recenter. I am learning how to rest, I am practicing self care outside of a physical activity. I am feeding my body with the rest it needs to recharge and reset. I feel alive. I welcome this injury into my life with arms open - it has taught me how to embrace an otherwise frustrating chapter (injury).

Yesterday I decided to visit a book shop and go with the flow on whatever my mind and body decided I needed. I bought 3 new books (one is actually a journal) when I got home I realised they’re all related to self care and part of my journey to loving my body inside and out - mind, body and soul. PS do you like my llama socks? He’s taking me on this wild self-care ride 😝📖🧘‍♀️